(lardo di colonnata from tuscany)
i try to keep these FRET’s to a minimum but the truth is that if you knew how much of my life this fretting thing consumes you’d probably find me to be kinda screwed up and possibly wouldn’t like me anymore. assuming of course, you ever liked me at all.
i’m one of those folks that can pack on fat – and quickly. to stay at a reasonable weight i need to eat very little. my body operates best on small amounts of very clean food. i’m sure this is a human condition – but look, some of you are just luckier in this department and can get away with more. like my guy, which is the one reason to sometimes resent him. not that he doesn’t watch it and obsessively weigh himself daily. but he has a lot more wiggle room when it comes to ordering dessert than i do…
the curse runs rampant through my family. and it’s all due to what i’d easily call a rather sick relationship with food. it is a true addiction and it’s been passed down through generations. not only are we plate cleaners but we do it with such flourish as not to leave a morsel from our second helpings.
cut to one of my favorite jewish jokes: mrs. goldstein is talking to her friend mrs. greenberg about a restaurant she ate in the night before. her comment - ”the food was absolutely horrible, and the portions were sooooo small…”
that about sums up how i was raised.
and i could write the book. how to eat, what to eat – every tip, every in-the-know way to get/stay lean. i have done it all. and more. seriously. no really really. i win in this category. really.
but with all i ‘know’ - it’s pretty much all in the ‘doing’. and i am inconsistent, to say the very least and i am ashamed of myself for being so weak in the presence of food. i wake up panicked – literally i open my eyes and think – “oh no” as i envision the great clothes hanging in my closet, and my selection growing smaller as my waistline expands.
the biking helps on so many levels. but unless you’re lance armstrong and on the bike for hours, burning through every calorie, it’s not the exercise that will ultimately slim you down. it’s the reduction of those calories. it’s pretty simple math.
i’ve always had this dream that lying would make you fat – not fettucine alfredo…