i realize that this is old news. i mean, any tomato such as the one i used in september is sadly unattainable until three more seasons are behind us. but with all the summer clamor to make the ultimate blt from total scratch – all the while knowing that i was not in the mood to cure my locally sourced pork belly, or grow anything other than my sweet 100′s… i started to get a hefty craving for what is my second favorite sandwich.

and i did it my way – and with a clean conscience. ruhlman inspires me like no other, but as passionate as i am about my food – sometimes i can make do…

a pretty decent loaf of bread, a farmers market tomato, salty smoky benton’s bacon from right here in tennessee, some crisp romaine and my beloved hellman’s mayo.

go here to see how it’s done by the professionals. but damn if mine wasn’t just plain excellent…

(anyone care to guess what my #1 sandwich could possibly be?)

as i’ve been going on and on about – ad nauseam, i’m 5 weeks into a pretty serious diet shift. but in the name of sanity and well, umm, cosmc fairness i felt the need to make my own pasta. so the other day i ate lightly, preparing for a higher calorie dinner – and then yesterday i really watched the calories, keeping my average daily intake to where it needed to be. was i hungry? a little. did i live? well, here i am to tell the tale…

my daughter is 27. and although we met when she was already 12, i made it a point to raise her on very good quality food. i baked all our bread, made all our pizzas, cookies, cakes – and shopped almost exclusively at the local health food market. it mattered to me that she would grow up knowing the difference between what i considered to be good food – and what was readily available to a teenager in nashville. so these days, when she shows up at the house i love nothing more than to cook her the food she craves, dishes she’d never make for herself. also now that there’s a 6 year old in tow, i really enjoy having the opportunity to turn my sweet boy on to new taste sensations and hear him exclaim "wow, grand claud – i really like this!".

but i’ve been being careful. oh so painfully careful. making the right choices. keeping it lean. counting. weighing. doing the weight loss math. but here’s the deal. because we all have our limits, right? diet or no diet. there will be pasta. and the only thing better than pasta is homemade pasta. and my girl is a pasta fiend. really she’s a fool for gnocchi… and i need to get on that. but pasta always makes her very happy which in turn satisfies me to no end. see? pasta. it’s the quintessential win/win. of this i am quite sure.

the italian dish had written about a batali pasta that she’d made not long ago, and after lusting after it i filed it away in my non existent memory and promptly forgot all about it. but a few days ago when flipping through the ‘babbo cookbook’ for ideas, my eyes fell upon a recipe that immediately appealed to me and also seemed vaguely familiar. sure enough it was that very same one. destiny at play, no doubt. so i caught a ride to the market (still carless) and bought parsnips. i also managed to lay my hands on some marigold yolked farm fresh eggs and i defrosted the hunk of pancetta that tom from lazzaroli’s had sold me a few months back.

the recipe called for black pepper pasta and with all my pasta making to date, i’ve yet to add in anything to the flour besides some eggs and a touch of oil and water. i used mostly 00 flour and added about 20% semolina bringing it to about 4 cups of flour total. this batch took 4 eggs, 2 yolks, about a teaspoon or so of olive oil and maybe 2 tablespoons of water. i barely measured anything and well, it came out wonderfully. the miracle of pasta making never ceases to amaze me. the next time i will be sure and grind the pepper finer as i noticed the pasta tore in a few places from the bigger pieces of peppercorn dragging through the roller. while the pasta strips dried out a bit, i decided instead of making fettuccine with my cutters, i’d just roughly cut the pasta into thick rectangular strips. i’ve no idea the exact name for this shape but it’s like a maltagliati.

the pancetta gets browned and then removed from the pan. in goes about one tablespoon of butter and two of olive oil. the 4 parsnips were peeled and chopped into coins and browned until crisp, next went the leeks. i used 3, sliced into quarters and when wilted and a bit caramelized, i added some salt, deglazed the pan with an italian red and in went chopped parsley and the pancetta. the pasta was drained and added to the pan along with about 1/4 cup of the pasta water. finito. serve with grated parmegiano.

the red wine was kind of a no-brainer. i can’t imagine mario not wanting you to deglaze that pan – but well, he didn’t mention it and i just had to. after all, i had just fried a BACONlike substance in that pan which is a rarity around here so there was no way i wasn’t going to get all that flavor back. really mario. wtf?

and the leeks were an afterthought. i had bought them for no particular reason and when grabbing the parsnips from the refrigerator, i thought it all made sense. and for those of you suspicious about parsnips (and yes, lauren – i am looking at you, honey) it’s high time you saw this vegetable as versatile. it’s delicious. and nutritious. any other applicable words ending in -cious, please let me know.

but hey… dear readers, i just needed to bring attention to my batali guilt. after all, i defiled his recipe. certain chefs have no real impact on me. i’ll substitute. i’ll mess with the best. but mario is brilliant. mario is in my top five. and i overrode his good judgment without any second thought,

my god. what have i become?

i’m a book buyer.  which doesn’t necessarily mean that i’m always a book reader.  of course each book is carefully chosen with varying degrees of hope, excitement and promise, and the contents of my cyber cart are always just one quick click away from being all mine…  but then the books arrive only to be relegated to any number of stacks or shelves throughout my home.  and from there the books taunt me, filling me with guilt, making me once again realize that they have yet to fulfill their destiny.  and destiny is big….

so yesterday morning the latest book hit my doorstep. i don’t recall how or even why i’d heard about this one, but i had, for some good reason, sought it out – and now here we were, together.  but this time, instead of adding it to the closest pile, i immediately opened to a random page and began to flip through, until my eyes rested upon what was to become – dinner.  smiling, i grabbed the scallops and bacon from the freezer and jotted down the word ‘watercress’ on my days shopping list.  this was going to be magically delicious and made in 15 minutes – tops.

the book is called ‘secret ingredients – the magical process of combining flavors’ by michael roberts.  and the more i read about mr. roberts, who died an untimely death 3 years ago, the more i like him.  in his ny times obituary he is noted as "a restaurateur and chef whose playful and astonishingly successful marriages of preposterous ingredients helped forge the California culinary revolution of the 1980′s".  he was a risk taker when it came to flavor.  and i happen to like that in a guy.  he writes of flavor marriages as in ‘sherry and brandy’ and ‘chili and curry’, and of flavor oppositions such as ‘apples and cheese’ and ‘salt and sugar’ or ‘sugar and vinegar’, and from there he discusses flavor juxtaposition – as in garlic masking the bitterness of rosemary but allowing the herbalness to come through. or cocktail sauce, unfolding in layers, first the tomato and then the horseradish – married by the lemon…

i haven’t read a novel in too long because lately, i just get lost in this kind of thing.  when i’m reading about food i am focused.  pennies drop.  i proverbially clap out loud and gasp and nod and moan and laugh.  food just entertains the hell outa me.  better than fast cars, heroin or sky diving, i suppose.

warm scallop and watercress salad with bacon vinaigrette
adapted from ‘secret ingredients’ by michael roberts

i opted to not leave the bacon fat in the dish and reflected this in my adaptation.  it just seemed so pointless, but it’s your life and you can drink bacon grease all day long.  choosing longevity, i decided to use more grapeseed oil and drain the pig fat.  i also upped the apple slices just because..

2 bunches of watercress
1 medium granny smith apple
lemon juice to keep the apple slices from oxidizing
1/2 cup salad oil (i like grapeseed for this)
3/4 lb bacon cut into 1/2 inch pieces
1 lb sea scallops
2 T finely minced shallots
2/3 cup sherry vinegar

mound the watercress leaves onto 4 plates
core the apple without peeling, cut into quarters and slice thin
sprinkle with the lemon juice
arrange the apples around the watercress – set aside
add bacon to a 9 or 10 inch cold skillet – sauté over medium heat 4 minutes
drain most of the bacon fat from the pan and add scallops, searing until brown on each side
be sure they stay rare in the center
add the shallots and vinegar and cook for a minute longer
remove from heat and add the oil
then drizzle with the remaining dressing in the pan
portion the scallops and bacon onto the plates
 

there is something so very sexy, even powerful about being able to whip out a solid dish with very little effort… especially when it’s this good.

…and a pork chop. 

but in this instance, who cares?  not me, that’s who.  it was a run-of-the-mill chop from ‘the fresh market’, and personally, i can always take or leave these kind of pork chops.  cary’s a fan, so i pick some up on occasion.  but those beans?  you’d have to fight me for those beans..  rancho gordo – all the way… yellow eyes cooked with sweet potatoes, fresh thyme and a solid lb. of tennessee’s finest – salty, smoky ‘benton’s bacon’.  it is the burgundy of bacon’s…  a straight forward cure of brown sugar, salt and pepper - with a heavy-handed hickory smoke.  on a BLT it would be sheer perfection.  i’m keeping a package in the freezer in anticipation of summer tomatoes.  so don’t even waste your time trying to sweet talk me out of it…

the yellow eyes are a creamy, dense bean.  and totally cool looking.  if this bean were a man, i’d do him in a ny minute. 

not that i like dense men… because i don’t.

(from rg’s site, i present to you the pulchritudinous and dense-in-a-good-way, yellow eye bean…)

the salad was on another plate.  sorry to deprive you of the much needed greenness.  i kinda wasn’t thinking.  it happens.  a lot.  but so you know, it was a simple toss of romaine and radicchio with toasted walnut oil and guerande salt. 

just close your eyes and pretend…

yes. it’s true. there it is. and it doesn’t have to be beautiful. because when you are "THAT FREAKIN AWESOME" looks just do not matter one little bit. unless you’re a woman.

this ice cream is brought to you by michael ruhlman who told michael symon who inspired david lebovitz. or something like that. but no matter who told who – from here on in it is now all mine. and i would just like to ask you, dear readers – just one thing. how in the hell could you ever possibly improve on this? you can’t.

sorry.

the coffee ice cream was david lebovitz’s recipe (plus one extra egg yolk) from ‘the perfect scoop’.  it’s a great book, go buy it. because the warm weather is approaching and it is time to make fabulous ice creams and sorbets and david will teach you how.  his blog has the post regarding the candied bacon ice cream which of course includes the process of candying the bacon.  except i wound up first doing it his way and then feeling the need to redo it the next day with another batch of bacon, a very different way.  because i was striving for perfect pig candy.  and my first batch was kinda lackluster – probably my fault – but i learned and moved forward with the second batch while the first batch now sits in my freezer anxiously waiting to get mixed into some sweet potato pancake batter. now there’s a reason to live…

so, first i put the bacon on a rack over a sheet pan with some foil – shiny side down at about 350f and let a fair amount of the fat drip off – about 10 minutes or so – although the ‘niman ranch’ bacon i used was not very fatty at all – for bacon. then i removed it from the oven and coated one side with brown sugar and placed it back on the rack and let the sugar caramelize on the meat for about another 10 minutes. then i removed it from the oven and spread another sheet of foil over the drippings and placed the bacon candied side down and sugared the second side – same deal. once that was done i removed it from the oven and cooled it on the wire rack. it was more steps then i’ve seen done – but it came out flawless – and while the bacon was getting candied, i was making the custard for the ice cream.

needless to say. it was a hit.

i swear this dish started out as a vegetarian dinner. and it was. twice. until it just couldn’t be anymore. and really, there is so very little meat on this plate. just 2 measly strips of: "MY-VERY-OWN-UNFREAKINREAL-CURED-BACONY-STUFF". i mean, who the hell knew you could do this? next thing you know i’ll be baking my own baguettes… not. but hey, first let’s talk about the beans. which are not just any beans. they are rancho gordo’s scarlet runner beans. and i love them. truly and with feeling. here’s a fact: if you’re buying the beans on the shelf of your supermarket, just know that they can easily be up to 12 years old. and even if you think that those beans are "just fine", it’s only because you’ve never tried rancho gordo’s beans. and when you do, i believe you’ll be a convert, just like me. so there ya go.

when i looked on RG’s site, they say that they like to make the scarlet runners with wild mushrooms. so i got to thinking… and after a good long soak, i added the beans to a pot of onions that had been caramelizing for about 30 minutes. then i added some reconstituted wild mushrooms – a good mix of porcini, morel, shitake, oyster and portabella, – along with its (strained) soaking water. towards the end of the cooking i added a large amount of chopped mustard greens, fresh thyme and some salt and pepper – and let the dish simmer until i felt the beans were done. for planning purposes, please note that these beans are of the extra large variety and take a long time to cook – 3 hours or so.

so after eating the hell out of this damn fine pot-o-beans, i began to yearn for something more. something well, meaty. so i channeled my inner gabrielle hamilton from the AMAZING – but AMAZING – restaurant ‘prune’ in nyc’s east village, and i wacked a coupla slices off my beautifully cured belly, trimmed the skin off the edges and fried those porky strips right up. and then, because it’s what i do – i poached an egg.

and you think that’s it, right? like what more could i possibly do to improve on this, right? well the next night when i gave cary the last of it for dinner, i added some leftover polenta as the bottom layer. and i set that bowl down before him and said "of all the things i’ve made in quite some time – i am the proudest of this dish". i really think that gabrielle would be just fine offering this on the ‘prune’ menu. no really. i do.

delusional? perhaps.

and the parsley sprig? that’s so totally for you…

if the title of this dish doesn’t make you stop and look, then there is something terribly wrong with you.  or you are a vegetarian.  or you have a corn allergy.  or you are from mars.  but here and all at once you’ll be delighted to find: cream, corn, french fried onions, bacon, butter and cheese.  hey – it’s holiday food.  live a little.  or kill yourself slowly.  in this instance they’re one and the same.

timing being everything i came across this recipe while hunting for some new ideas for the big T day.  this one was from bon appétit’s ’03 november issue and the restaurant widow was vouching for it bigtime.  so i decided it was ‘in‘ and put the ingredients on my shopping list and bookmarked the epicurious page.

somehow this dish took friggin forever to make.  and you know why?  because i decided that after years of ‘durkee french fried onions’, i was going to make my own even though some of the epicurious comments said to go for the canned.  what were those folks thinking?  i mean, i, like many of you grew up on “durkee’s atop the green beans in the condensed mushroom soup” scenario - which i will never ever eat again no matter what.  i could be a contestant on ‘fear factor‘ and i am not touching that glop.  i know it all too well - and i wouldn’t go there nor expect you to.  not even for the sake of gaining an extra 30 ‘onion slicing/dredging/frying’ minutes of my life back…  not, dear readers, after all we have meant to each other over these past 6 or so months.  it’s scratcharooni or bust.  you can count on me.

i made both the top and bottom the day before and stored them separately.  i followed the recipe exactly – except for the 5 or so changes i made.  so i guess that’s not really exactly.  anyway, here’s my version.

creamed corn gratin with fried onion rings and bacon
(adapted from bon appétit’s nov. 03 recipe)

1 1/2 cups fresh breadcrumbs made from crustless french bread
7 thick bacon slices, chopped
1/3 cup all purpose flour – or more if you need it
1 large red onion, thinly sliced into rounds
1/2 cup (or more) vegetable oil
10 green onions, chopped
2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter
1 large onion, chopped
8 cups frozen corn kernels (about 2 pounds 6 ounces)
2 cups 2% milk
1 cup whipping cream
1/4 cup quick-cooking grits
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 cups (packed) coarsely grated monterey jack cheese (about 6 ounces)

preheat oven to 350°f. spread breadcrumbs on rimmed baking sheet. bake until lightly toasted, about 10 minutes.

sauté bacon in large skillet over medium heat until crisp. using slotted spoon, transfer bacon to paper towels. transfer 2 tablespoons bacon drippings to heavy large pot; reserve for creamed corn. discard remaining drippings.

place flour in medium bowl. sprinkle with salt and pepper. separate red onion slices into rings and toss in flour to coat lightly. heat 1/2 cup oil in same large skillet over medium-high heat. working in batches, add onion rings to skillet and cook until golden brown, adding more oil as needed, about 2 minutes per side. transfer onion rings to paper towels. mix breadcrumbs, bacon, onion rings, and half of green onions in clean medium bowl. sprinkle topping with salt and pepper.

butter 13x9x2-inch baking dish. add butter to pot with reserved bacon drippings; melt over medium-high heat. add chopped onion; sauté until light golden and beginning to soften, about 6 minutes. add frozen corn; sauté 5 minutes. add milk and cream; bring to boil. gradually stir in grits and cayenne pepper. reduce heat and simmer until mixture thickens slightly, about 3 minutes. remove from heat. stir in cheese and remaining green onions. season with salt and pepper. transfer creamed corn to prepared dish. (topping and corn can be made 1 day ahead. cover separately and chill.)

preheat oven to 350°f. bake gratin uncovered 25 minutes. sprinkle topping over; bake until topping is slightly crisp and creamed corn thickens and is heated through, about 20 minutes longer.

i wish i’d taken a prettier shot but it’s just not that kind of dish.  no need pretending we’ve got the makings of food porn here. 

it’s just all the right stuff in a pan.

life throws us challenges.  some bigger than others, no doubt.  in this instance the ny jew is presented with a huge and perfect bunch of turnip greens.

now i’ve never met a vegetable i didn’t like.  sometimes love might be too strong of a word (green bell peppers, i’m looking at you), but still i’m a big fan of all things produce.  i’ve got to say that this season my relationship with food brought forth from tennessee soil was definitely tested.  it was like living with someone your whole life and they go off to work each day and you happily enjoy evenings, weekends and the occasional vacation together and then suddenly they retire – and they’re always around.  such was the case for me and the vegetables.  the wonderful, beautiful weekly bounty from the delvin csa share put my passion to the test.  every day.  being that the last pick-up is only 3 weeks away, i am sure i will look back fondly on the experience come february.  but lately i find myself looking at zucchini going ‘oh shit’.

with challenges you are forced to stretch and grow.  not only was i in possession of these truly gorgeous turnip greens, but just last week i had received another big leafy bunch that had little baby turnips still attached.  the greens themselves didn’t look as impressive as the cute little pink pointy orbs suspended from the bottom, so puzzled as to what i might ever do with them they promptly got tossed in the fridge with no idea what their fate might bring.

with dinner time approaching and no preconceived notions, i got to thinking.  which brought me to cookthink.  which brought me in no time flat to the perfect idea.  with a big smile i made a beeline for the kitchen and i was fixin’ to make a fine meal.

i began with unarguably one of the world’s most amazing taste sensations.  out of the freezer came a package of niman ranch uncured applewood smoked bacon.  and now i take a moment to ask you this.  how could my people be the ‘chosen people’ if we’re not supposed to eat bacon?  would a fair and loving god do this to his children?  i think not.  i believe it all must be a misunderstanding from way back.  so i tore open the package and put it on my grill plate and let the meat soften and the slices separate.  then i fried the bacon until crisp and set it aside, my only guilt being one having to do with fat as opposed to hell – although in my life there is most certainly an overlap between the two.

into a big pan went some olive oil and then i added a large diced onion.  i let that caramelize for about 15 minutes and then added the diced baby turnips, discarding their wilted leaves.  next the huge quantity of my new turnip greens were roughly chopped and added to the pan in batches along with some chicken broth and some salt.  while that simmered i chopped up 3 ‘joe’s long hots’ – my favorite chili’s from delvin and added those to the pan.  for the final touches i used a healthy dose of a wonderful spanish red wine vinegar that i’d gotten from zingerman’s and some greek honey.  the bacon then got chopped and mixed back in.

while all this was going on i had taken 3 acorn squash, halved them and with some olive oil, salt, pepper and a drizzle of agave syrup they hit the oven for about 20 minutes until softened. 

i was really happy with our dinner.  i felt as though i’d done something nativelike to nashville and had met with success.  plus i knocked out 3 acorn squash, the huge bunch of greens, the baby turnips, 3 chili’s – and found the perfect dish for my new vinegar.

as well as my foray into southern cuisine may have turned out, by dessert we were back on “the Continent” with turron from spain and an espresso. 

what a world…